haiku hell

this is what happens when a wonderful eastern poetry style falls into the hands of a western jackass who's bored at work (guest haikus are both bold and italicized):

today is wednesday
thinking about going out?
or just chillin in?

i hate you so much
but i love the peach; you should
call up some peoples

you act like you dont
know anyone in this town
but you do! call them!

method man is sick
judgement day makes me want re-
tards to die with plagues

i just had chef changs
i feel it working my gut
bathroom time is soon

on saturday night
roy jones fights antonio
know anyone watching?

it should be sick, son
i would say we could buy it
but i'm cheap as hell

my haikus can't stop
like Diddy, they cant stop and
they wont stop, eh eh

haikus are awesome
don't knock them till you've tried them
yoga... so overrated.

long delay between
your sending this response and
my receiving it now.

soo many haikus
have been sent by me today
its ridiculous.

so sketchy this sounds;
crazy cross country drivin'.
foxwoods, here we come!

here's a little touch
of the crap i've been sending
all day to my friends

they'll ask me questions
and i'll respond just like this
its driving them nuts

i would say something
about the bulldogs or athens
but i'm not that smart

my future unfolds
sugar cruches between teeth
a fortune cookie.

i look down the hall
see the target of my wrath
the end will come soon.

sending out emails
of the lame ass jacket song is
not a smart move.

i have no response.
you're the first one to hit me
back with hot haikus.

don't worry, tech pride
is something i'm lacking now
go bulldogs, arf arf!

i'll let you get back
to whatever fun work you
have to get back to.

haikkus are insane
they make me cringe and go nuts
stop sending them...now!

you can't possibly
expect me to stop when you
haiku back to me

i think tomorrow
i'm going to post todays
haikus. there are lots.

i haven't sent a
non-haiku email at all
since this morning, fool

(non-haiku set up: "speaking about poker...remember when I rivered a s8 against your measly top pair... AHHAHAHAHA(I am a calling station)")

the bad beats happen
to good players more often
so i don't worry

keep chasing your straights
when calling pot sized bets, son.
i'll bust you, hardcore.

gza's a damn beast
he and meth are def my faves
from the wu tang clan

meth is funnier
but gza brings that raw ish
sends chills down your spine

popped my collar
now I want to punch myself
I have much damage

someone released gas
for this time it was not me
will I be blamed?

my stomach: dying.
i'm laughing way too hard now
that was hilarious

i need to poop bad
and yet, the stall's been taken
every time. tragic.

i should really stop.
these damn haikus keep coming.
they've taken over.

its really a shame
that there's such a long delay
i'm sure you're anxious

my replies are late
when you're trying to tell stuff
to the haiku man

yeah, i think i'm done
this has been fun, but its old.
haikus: adios.