being old

When did we get so old? I remember being a little kid, collecting comic books and playing in little league.

I remember middle school, getting over the fact that girls had the cooties.

I remember high school, learning to drive and going to parties that didn't have birthday cake.

I remember college, and ... and... ok, I remember having nights which are complete blanks in my memory.

And now, I'm 24? Rent checks? Utility bills? Buying my own clothes? Being in my mid-twenties? What happened to my early-twenties? I didn't sign up for this.

In a while, I'll have some job (doctor? eh, we'll see how that goes).

After that, I'll have a wife (again, we'll see how that goes).

After that, I'll have a kid or two.

But what's this BS period that I'm in now? I'm supposed to be mature and responsible, but I sure don't feel like a responsible adult. I'm supposed to take advantage of my youthful years, have fun and experience the world, but I've got work to go to, schools to get into, and bills to pay. This age is like some sick catch-22. Writing about it is making my head hurt, but this scene from a cinematic classic pretty much sums up my feelings on growing up:

3rd Grader: How's high school Billy?
Billy: High school is great. I'm learning new things and everyone is really nice.
3rd Grader: Gee, I can't wait till I get into high school.
Billy [whispering]: Don't you say that. Don't you ever say that. Stay here. Stay here as long as you can. For the love of God, cherish it. You have to cherish it.

my friends are great

Even though my next post is all about being mature, this is a great picture. I wasn't actually present when this took place, but it was part of my birthday weekend so it's getting thrown in anyway.















Yes, that's a jack-o-lantern, and yes, those are Miller Lite bottles.

gear grinding

(note: a real post is coming... this is just filler for everyone who was tired of reading the red sox/yankees stuff)

You know what really grinds my gears?

• people who don't believe poker is a skill game
• tim mccarver and jerry remy
• people who take themselves too seriously
• boston bars not having happy hours or drink specials
• boston bars staying open till 2 but public transportation ending at 12:30. there's gotta be some serious corruption between the city of boston and the cab companies on that one.
• red sox fans who preach about yankees fans being "bandwagon fans" or "fake fans" , and yet don't know at least 2 of the following players: mike greenwell, mo vaughn, and john valentin.
• bad liars (note: i have no problem with lying; i actually do it a lot, concerning trivial matters. but if you're going to do it, don't make it so obvious that i know you're lying to me... then i'll really hate the fact that you're both not telling me the truth and you're undermining my intelligence. i mean, come on... this is me; i'm smarter than you. i can tell when you're lying)
• nice guys finishing last
• people who enter subway cars/buses without letting people exit first
• not having cell phone reception in my house
• anyone who thinks "10 things i hate about you" is a better movie than "blues brothers"
• fat people who don't exercise
• skinny people who don't eat healthy
• gossip queens (they can be men, too, but i'm still calling them "queens"... ACLU, bite me) who act very nice to your face, then yap behind your back. be like me... talk about people behind their back AND to their face.

"I'm a shoe-in... for hater of the year."

-Silky Johnson

(The Yankees lost their series in 5 games, the Red Sox were swept in their series 3-0)

lame quiz, bored at work

I guess that somehow makes sense... being a conglomerate of Brian, Lois, and Quagmire... weird. I thought for sure I'd be either Brian or Stewie... whatever, this is retarded.

You scored as Quagmire. Your Glen Quagmire the neighbors of the Girffin's and good friend of Peter.Hilarious character that always thinks about sex. Who else but quagmire. Quagmire 63% Lois Griffin 63% Brian Griffin 63% Peter Griffin 50% Stewie Griffin 50% Cleveland 50% Joe 50% Chris Griffin 38% Meg Griffin 38% Find out what Family Guy character you are. (pics included) created with QuizFarm.com

playoffs - post 2

Tuesday afternoon interoffice e-mail dialogue, circa 2:00 pm (red sox play at 4:00):

JJ: Red Sox Nation... needs to be bombed. Immediately.

C: You really do need to spend the month of October in New York...you're totally going to be/are that angry guy who yells for no reason at all on the subway or "T" as you call it.

JJ: As far being angry... well, as long as the White Sox knock out the Red Sox in the first round (and we all know they will), I'm going to be pretty content up here in ol' Beantown during October. Seeing Red Sox fans sad about their team will actually cheer me up much more than seeing the Yankees win. I mean, I've already seen them win 4 titles!

Tuesday afternoon intraoffice e-mail dialogue, circa 3:45pm:
T: the sox start their first game soon. i will keep you posted!!

(15 min later...)
JJ: I think something's wrong with my computer... it says that the White Sox are winning 2-0, but it's only the bottom of the first inning! Do you have the real score?

T: SHUT UP!!!! ONE MORE COMMENT AND WE ARE NO LONGER FRIENDS!!!!!!!

My end-of the day email:
interoffice hostility has grown 100-fold in the past 10 minutes...
white sox: 5
red sox: 0
# of rabid sox fans who have been reminded of that: all

Commentaries:
T: I don't even know where to begin to respond to that!! I am deeply hurt. I thought we were friends and that I could get past the fact that you were a (shudder) yankees fan. Apparently I can not!

C: hahahahahaha...you're so getting fired by 5:00

K was going to email a response, but she was too appalled... she physically came down to my desk and scolded me.



Hahahahaha... I rule.

(Yankees lead their series 1-0, Red Sox trail in their series 0-1)


Non Sequitur:
Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story
- Holy crap... The most amazing purchase I've ever made. It's a Family Guy movie that went straight to DVD. You must see this immediately. It will blow your mind.

Jets news: This just in... they suck. Vinny Testaverde gets the start this Sunday, vs. the Buccaneers. I guess it can't get much worse than last week...

(famous last words...)

playoffs - post 1

"Weekday afternoon playoff baseball is right up there with the first two days of the NCAA Tournament as one of the best work days of the year. Everyone prep your fake Excel spreadsheets and sharpen your "Alt/Tab" skills!"
-Dan Shanoff, espn.com

ah yes.. well said indeed.

crossroads

That is the beauty that is today, October 1. 2005 American League Champions.
Hell yeah.




rewind to last night: Crossroads Irish Pub, approximately 9:00pm
(the names have been changed to protect the innocent)

Tommy (to Mike): God, these guys are terrible.

(Enter very drunk guy, late 20s/early 30s, wearing a Yankee jersey and fitted cap)

Yankee Drunk: Yo, what did you say? The Yanks are the best f-ing team ever!

Tommy: No, they're really not. They're playing terribly. Except for Jeet's home run, they haven't done crap tonight. Don't worry, I'm actually a Yankees fan too, dude.

YD: Oh, no sh-t! Yo, what's up man!?!

Tommy: Um... not much. Just trying to watch the game here...

YD: Yeah man... I love the Yankees! My boy here is a die-hard Sox fan.

Tommy: Cool, cool.. are you just in town visiting him?

YD: Nah, he's actually from Reno. Our boy's getting married tomorrow, so we're just out drinking it up...

(the 5'5" Reno Drunk two seats down yells something unintelligibile, and I just give him the head nod and glass raise)

Tommy: Oh... Reno... didn't know Red Sox Nation spread that far.

YD: Yeah dude, totally... (and then realizing he has no idea what I'm talking about) wait, what?

Tommy: Nevermind. Yeah man, Yankees fans in Boston! There's like 5 or 6 in the bar tonight... I'm pretty psyched! I wore my Yankees t-shirt under my sweater to work today, showing it to all the crazy Sox fans in my office. It was great.

YD: Yeah? (YD starts to lift up Tommy's sweater) Are you still wearing it? Break that s--t out!

Tommy (smacking YD and pushing him almost off his stool): Yo!!! Get off me! I'll take it off a little later, man.

YD: Oh, you call yourself a real fan? You gotta take that sweater off.

Tommy: I'll take it off when I f-ing feel like it. I've lived in Boston for 5 years; I'm over the whole "shock value" thing of wearing the "NY" around Sox fans.

YD: Oh yeah? Well I've lived here for 10 years, and I still wear this stuff all the time. Yankees, baby!

Tommy: Ok, you're cooler than me, I guess. You've been here longer and you're wearing a jersey. Congrats, dude.

RD (Reno Drunk): You're not wearing your shirt dude?! You're a f-ing p--sy.

Tommy: Wait, what did you say? Because I think it's a little easier to hear outside... I thought I heard you call me a p--sy, but I'm sure that a cool kid like you wouldn't say something like that.

YD (motioning to RD as if to say "shut the hell up", and then to Tommy): Hey hey hey, there's no need for that... why are you getting so upset?

Tommy: Well, actually, I'm having a good time. I'm here with my buddies, Sam Adams in one hand, watching the Yanks... but, for me at least, having poser super-fans trying to take off my clothes while their midget friends call me a p--ssy kind of qualifies for a reason to get a little agitated... don't you think?

YD (nervously laughing): Wait, what?

Tommy (deadpan): You heard me.

YD: Hahahaha... you're all right, man. Let me get you a drink... we've been doing car bombs all night... you want one?

Tommy: Nah, man... I'm sticking to beer tonight. Thanks though.

RD: No carbomb? You're such a p-ssy... hahaha, just kidding man.

Mike (aside, to Tommy): What? Did you just threaten that guy, and then he offered to buy you a drink?

Tommy: Yeah. He's a winner.